My Heart's Desire

Ps. 141:2-5 speaks to me about the true condition of the my heart. Like David, I want more than anything for my prayers be a sweet incense to God. I want my lifted hands to be as sinless as the evening sacrifice. Yet, like David, I have a problem making this happen. My desires and my flesh are often at odds. "So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law, waging war..." Not only did David have a heart-felt desire, but he earnestly prayed about it. He poured out his soul to God knowing that God had the power to transform him and his defeating problems. First, he tackled his mouth. So many times I have prayed for God to set a watch over my mouth. Isn't it amazing that a single word can open the door to such serious, sinful consequences? James described the tongue as a "great forest set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness." No wonder David prayed about this first. The tongue has defeated so many people, even people whose hearts' desires were right.


Then David tackled the people in his life whether friends, acquaintances, or even enemies. He didn't want to busy himself with their evil deeds, their evil companionship, or their evil delicacies. What an influence peer pressure is! Even though some evil things are so blatantly evil that it should be obvious which decision to make, wrong choices still happen. But beyond this, David mentions the 'delicacies.' In my mind, these evil things are subtle, hard to discern, and easily justifiable. It is not until after they are eaten that the bitter aftertaste is noticed, an aftertaste that poisons the fervency of our heart's desires and our prayers. Peter urges believers to be watchful because the adversary is on the prowl waiting to devour someone. He is not just waiting to get lucky, he knows that he will get his prey. David knows that this protection must come from God. It must be an answer to prayer.

Instead of these evil influences in his life, he wants a relationship with righteous men. He gladly welcomes a rebuke by a righteous man and counts it a kindness. In fact, it would be oil to his head, an anointing that keeps him right with God. Even though he knows this experience is right, he asks God to make sure he does not refuse this rebuke. I have found in my life that a rebuke is hard to stomach because it attacks personal pride, and personal pride taints the sweet incense of prayer and the lifted hands of the evening sacrifice.

Father,
I want my prayers to be sweet to you and my lifted hands to be free of the taint of my flesh. Send your Spirit to convict, lead, and teach me about my tongue, my friends, the delicacies of evil, and the rebukes of righteous men. Unite my heart so that I might value You above my wounded pride. Transform me so that I might keep my eyes constantly on You, delighting in You and glorifying Your name. Give me the fervency of a David.
In Jesus name,
Amen