Wives

I Pet. 3:1

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the words, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see you respectful and pure conduct.

 

The relationship of husband and wife has been a struggle from the get-go. Wives declaring and husbands demanding--neither one understanding or growing together. But Peter teaches some good principles.

• Likewise...this new section obviously refers to what has previously been taught in Chapter 3 about enduring when suffering unjustly. If you are in the wrong and suffer for it, you deserve it. But if you were in the right and still suffer for it, then what you have endured is gracious to God. Perhaps Peter is saying that within the realm of marriage there are many instances of just and unjust wounds. Any two people in close proximity will differ and struggle to have their own way, but Peter is saying to give those unjust wounds and hurts to God and let Him do the judging. Don't try and get back or even manipulate a situation. So as Peter teaches these principles about marriage, keep this former teaching in mind. Let it be the basis for you responses to each other.
• Be subject to your own husbands.. Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. Just as the church is subject to Christ and Christ to His Father so are wives to their husbands. That doesn't mean a wife should have no input or that her husband is somehow more suited for wisdom or leadership. It means that they put their strengths and weaknesses together and operate as a unified whole. It means that the spiritual meaning of marriage is what is first and foremost before any personal whims or desires. It means that the wife freely respects and defers to her husband for the sake of Christ.
• So that if some do not obey the word, they maybe won without a word by the conduct of their wives. Peter is here addressing the unique situation of a marriage where the husband is an unbeliever. How is the wife to act and respond since he is not emulating the spiritual model of Christ and the church. Peter says that this attitude of submission is powerful in itself. It can be used by the Spirit of God to draw the unbelieving husband to God.  So, even though the two are not united in belief, the wife still lives for the higher spiritual value. She is not seeking her way, or resorting to revenge and manipulation. Her life is reflecting the sacrifice and humility of Christ. (Phil. 2)
• When they see your respectful and pure conduct-Wives must show respect even when the husband has behaved foolishly. In fact, this respect needs to be coupled with purity. Her life code honors others especially her husband.
• Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear--but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is precious. True beauty is not from a bottle, a fad, or by following the latest worldly fashions. True beauty is from the heart where the spiritual values grow and bloom, where the gentle and quiet spirit replace the strife and the struggle. But how does a wife change her spirit to one that is honoring to God? How does she rid herself of past hurts? Certainly, it must be through grace and prayer. It is not just a head knowledge and then then purposing to do it with all the strength she can muster. It does not mean quietly gritting your teeth and bearing it; instead it means that wives should know and purpose but all through the grace and strength of God. Give Him the hurts and trust Him to handle them as the One who judges justly. [Go back to the Likewise]
• If you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Certainly there are fearful situations, but Peter is saying concentrate on doing good and trust a sovereign God for safety. Don't live your life saturated in fear! Don't let fear defeat your trust in a sovereign God.
• Finally all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. How many marriages are characterized by pay-back and reviling? Sadly, there are even many Christian marriages like this. But I, as a wife, should be sympathetic with love, a tender heart and  a humble mind.. I should live by the code of Christ, honoring Him in all that I do. But by the grace of God, I am what I am..I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me...And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency at all times, you may abound in every good work.

Thank God for His grace!

 

Father,

Take away my tendency to want to even the score and to take matters in my own hands. Teach me how to trust You in all my circumstances. Give me Your grace so that my sufficiency will be transformed to Yours.

In Jesus name,

Amen